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April 2009



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Apr. 28th, 2009

Pictures!...and more...

So, pictures of the baby have been uploaded into the album so that people may see my little one. Yes, I'm showing her off!
http://pics.livejournal.com/masterloganspet/gallery/000055rr. Now, granted, some of those have been there for a while, but I'm sure you guys can tell which ones are new and which ones aren't so enjoy!
i have discovered something very vital since giving birth that i didn't know was even a possibility of happening or else i would have prepared for it better. Becoming a mother has made me extremely territorial! Not just of my child either but of my sister, my home and my Husband as well. On some level, this disturbs me. i should have seen this coming. Because i didn't, i'm snapping at people i care about a great deal and pushing them away. Rather forcefully, at that! Granted, my stress levels are running very high at the moment, and with good reason. i'm bleeding more than i was when i left the hospital, i hurt a little more now than i did then (no, i'm not taking pain pills), i get maybe two hours of sleep a night (it's not easy to go an entire week on just 14 hours of sleep!), my frustration is starting to show and the baby is (i think) picking up on it, i'm not supposed to be using stairs that much and i'm completely incapable of doing most of my chores! The people who are here to help me are, most of the time, more of a pain in the ass than a help. If nothing else, i have an amazing and sudden deep sense of respect for those that are single parents and do this alone! Kudos to you all, you're far stronger people than i will ever be!
Anyway, that's my rant for today. Perhaps i shall write again tomorrow. If not, it will be sometime soon, i'm sure. Until then... take care!

Blessed Be.
Master Logans' pet,

Apr. 24th, 2009

Newest News!

This update is going to be very brief as i have a great deal going on at the moment.
On April 18th of 2009 at 4:47 in the evening, O/our daughter, Tamana Vivayne was born! She weighed in at 9 pounds 11 ounces, being 21.5 inches in length with a head size of 13.5 inches. Despite the original plan and my best effort, i was forced to go with a C-Section. Due to her size, i was informed there was no way i would have been able to deliver vaginally.
i went in Saturday at 7:30. The Pitocin was started around 8:00. i labored for about eight hours though it was pointless since things turned out the way they did. A little advice? If you have to be induced, be prepared for pain. The Pitocin made my contraction SO much worse. Despite all of this though... It was all worth it. i was only in the hospital for two days and i got to bring home the most beautiful of baby girls!
That's all for now. Must go tend to the child.

Blessed Be.
Master Logans' pet,

Apr. 8th, 2009

News from the Doctor

So... according to the rough estimate of the doctor yesterday, the baby is around nine pounds now. W/we discussed the possibility of induction if the baby is late. Apparently, he prefers to wait until the mother is a week and a half past due before inducing. W/we were considering induction as a way to help avoid the need to a c-section but apparently it will increase the chance of needing one and my chances are already higher than 'normal' because of the weight of the child and the fact that i was overweight when i got pregnant. Needless to say... i'm not happy. i really wanted to deliver the baby naturally. It's really upsetting that there's a good chance i won't be able to. To top it all off... Once a woman has a c-section it makes it far more difficult to ever deliver vaginally because of the scarring on the uterus caused by the surgery. On the up side though... he did say i'm, and i quote 'a little bit dilated' and said something about me being 70%... ni can only assume he meant i was 70% effaced, which is a good thing i think. If i understand what i've read right, it mean labor isn't too far off.
Anyway, time for m,e to go. That's the latest update. Need to take care of lunch, grab coffee and get started on the entry in my other journal.

Blessed Be.
Master Logans' pet,

Apr. 6th, 2009

(no subject)

Well... less than one week until the estimated due date! Looks like the baby may come late though, honestly. There were brief contractions but considering the fact that they stopped, i'm going to assume they were Braxton Hicks contractions.
With all the stress i've been dealing with lately and what's yet to come... i'll be picking up smoking again. Yes, i had quit for about a month, maybe a little more or less, but... it's really the only thing that relieves my stress. Don't get me wrong... i despise the taste and smell and it makes breathing slightly more difficult but with everything going on and everything yet to come... i think i'll pick it back up for the next three weeks or so. It's spending more money than i would like on things but it'll be worth it in the long run or else i'll lose my sanity.
i'm not so sure how well i'm going to handle labor, really. Not because i'm afraid of the pain or anything like that but because there's a 50/50 chance Master won't be able to be there and i don't think i can do it alone. He just started work today and will be training for the next five to seven weeks. The kind of training He has to go through isn't something that, i don't believe, they're going to like someone leaving in the middle of it, even just for a day, for any reason. If i could be at home, as W/w2e originally planned, i doubt i'd be quite so worried but finding a midwife here proved impossible so i've been forced to rely on a hospital (God help the baby and i both) for delivery. The rooms are... well... smaller than i am comfortable with, especially when you take into account the number of people that will be strolling in and out periodically and the fact that i'm claustrophobic... This can only end in disaster if Master isn't there. i'm afraid i'll end up having a panic attack while in labor and... who knows what will happen then!
W/we have a friend taking a week of work to 'help' me once the baby is born. The reality of things is, she'll show up at my house, bitch about how it looks, attempt to clean it, gripe about everything that 'needed' done, yap at me constantly about the game she's rebuilding, expect me to get online and do something on said game and then get jealous or throw a fit when i decide to talk to someone else or nap/watch tv/etc. instead of doing what she wants and then, the moment the baby starts to cry or spits up or needs it's diaper changed or any number of things that baby's need, she'll complain about that as well. And God help me if she decides she wants to stay at the house because then i'll have her bitching about the baby crying in the middle of the night. Hell, she already calls here daily to bitch at me because i'm not online or i don't call or someone knows something she didn't... i can't imagine it's going to get any better.
A few days after the baby is born, Master's mother is coming down for a week or so. Originally she was going to bring her mother with her and they'd stay in a hotel not too far from here and then, after Master got off work, W/we'd take the baby and go see them since his grandmother (referred to as mammaw from here forward) couldn't make it up the steps. However, His mammaw has since decided that she may not come. This gives His mother more time to be here... with me... 'helping' during the day while Master is at work. Lord alone knows how that's going to go. It's not as if we've gotten along in the past. In fact, we generally try to avoid each other. For good reason too! We annoy each other. Quite a bit.
Throughout all of this, i must remain calm, good natured, sweet and watch how i act, what i say while keeping my temper in check.
Add the above to the fact that Kim's home-schooling is practically non-existent at the moment and the review is scheduled for May 9th, which will have to be rescheduled since Master is working now... All i can hope is that her schooling can be crammed into weekends or perhaps done in the evenings because if i have to put her back in a public school, she'll flip out and have a breakdown, i'm sure of it!
So... With all that in mind, you consider the fact that i'll have the natural stress of being a new mother and having to deal with it on my own (and that's of my own choosing) because i want Master to relax after a hard day at work... the stress levels are through the roof right now!
Anyway, Master's home so i'm going to go. i'm going to go get tobacco after He relaxes for a bit, maybe. i'll update again as soon as possible. Should be more often now that i'll be posting to this journal as well as my physical one every other day or so since He'll be needing regular updates of my day to day life. Well... Talk to everyone later. Take care and stay safe!

Blessed Be.
Master Logans' pet,

Mar. 27th, 2009

...Good Morning...?

Master is currently laying in bed, sound asleep as is a friend of O/ours who decided to crash here. So why am i awake? That's a very good question. i'm going to guess it's because i'm nine and a half months pregnant and was barely sleeping before but when you place me on about twelve inches of bed, despite having a California king (they both find it necessary to spread out and push me off the bed... each and every time)as well as having my hair ripped out by the roots because it was being laid on, not to mention my nightly ritual interrupted and the way I'm used to falling asleep suddenly not occurring piled on top the fact that i was far too warm meant that i took one of my pillows (she was using the other) and the spare blanket and went out to the couch. Now, normally, i can rest on the couch. However, again, i am nine and a half months pregnant and the couch wasn't exactly wide to begin with... There's also the fact that i had five cats attempting to sleep with and/or on me as well as the noise from my little sister's television and her music (for some odd reason I just can't get to sleep listening to David Bowie) and... well... it isn't a recipe for a good nights sleep. In fact, i haven't slept at all.
With the above in mind, there are multiple thoughts that could have run through my head at 5:30 in the morning and in fact, many did. Thoughts like: Why the hell am i the one on the couch? What time is it? Why the hell am i listening to this shit? Is it rude to wake the other two currently asleep in my bed since they aren't letting me get any sleep? ... Despite all those thoughts, there is one that actually stuck in my head long enough to get some serious consideration from me and the thought would be this: Can i continue to try to lead a polyamorous lifestyle? ...The answer?: No, i don't believe i can.
Please don't get me wrong. i fully believe in loving more than one person at once and will always be polyamorous but it isn't something that i feel i can incorporate into my life anymore. It will be extremely difficult to suppress that side of myself but it's something that i feel must be done. Why? Because, no matter how much i may love someone other than my Husband, He will always come first if i had to choose between the two of them. It is supposed to be a balance. i don't believe i am capable of finding the perfect and precise balance needed. Someone will always end up being hurt though nine times out of ten it would be completely unintentional. Knowing this, i cannot (in good conscience) take on another lover in my life, no matter how much they mean to me. There's also the issue of having to, one day, explain it to my children and... i don't think i am up for that kind of task. It would have to be something the child grows up around and believes in completely natural (which it is) but this would lead the child(ren) to talk about it to other (not that i'm ashamed, mind you) and typical society does not accept such things. It would, therefore, cause the child to be teased, ridiculed and possibly even shunned by peers and the parents of said peers. i will not be the cause of such scarring and torture for my child(ren). Now, what my Husband will do from here forward, i cannot even begin to guess. i will, naturally, support whatever decision He makes while striving to find a way to make it fit into my own lifestyle and keep everyone happy (Not an easy task, mind you).
One a lighter note, the baby is doing wonderfully. Larger than expected. Apparently about two weeks ahead of itself weight wise, weighing somewhere between seven and eight pounds currently. i will admit to being somewhat worried about the size since i still have two weeks left though that fear is, honestly, fading slowly and instead turning into something more akin to amazement really. The child must certainly take after it's Father. As much as i hate it, it looks like the birth will have to take place in the hospital. Luckily, i found someone to stay with Kimmy since she, understandably, doesn't want to be stuck in the hospital for hours on end while i give birth, let alone end up sleeping there. That was actually a big concern for me.
Master has gotten the job He has been trying to get since W/we first moved down this way. He still worries though, sadly. i wish i knew of a way to make this easier for Him. i know He worries about getting what's left for the baby but, honestly, the only thing that is a must is diaper pins. The rest of what is needed can, if necessary, be handled with what i have here at home. W/we'll take what's coming from Ohio (and i'm almost positive it'll be here in time) and get Master what is needed in order for Him to start work, set some back to get Him back and forth to work until the first check comes in and only then will W/we get what W/we can with what is left. It's important that He be completely and totally prepared for this job as well as able to get back and forth until that first pay comes in and things settle down a little. Honestly though, i have no doubt we'll be just fine!
Well, i've been rambling for a little over half an hour now so i think it's time for me to go. i guess i'll see what's on television, though at six o'clock in the morning, i'm not really expecting to find much. The rest of you take care and stay safe (and sleep well, ya brats!) and i'll get the 3D ultrasound pictures up later.

Blessed Be.
Master Logans' pet,

Mar. 1st, 2009

Baby Countdown!


Feb. 28th, 2009


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Feb. 25th, 2009

Look look! Baby!

i'll give an in depth update sometime soon but for now i simply wanted to show everyone the latest pictures of the baby and let y'all know where things are sitting at the moment.
Blood flow is normal, brain development is normal (which is something that caused me some concern due to the lack of my medicine in the beginning). Lung development is normal. Heart rate was around 136 beats per minutes which is normal (Normal range at 33 weeks is between 120 and 180 BPM). The only thing that seems abnormal is the weight. The baby is actually, growth wise, a week ahead of itself, weighing five pounds and some odd ounces at the moment which is, apparently, the weight that is estimated as being normal for a fetus at 34 weeks... Large baby.. Go figure.
The child is also very active and has even developed a game it plays with it's Father. Naturally, this game takes place at night as i'm attempting to go to sleep. It's cute though. Still don't know what the gender is, for sure, but W/we have ideas. W/we won't know for sure until the baby is born.
Anyway, that's all for now. i'll write again soon and give more detailed information then. Until then... Take care and stay safe, all of you.

Blessed Be.
Master Logan's pet,
Enjoy the pictures!

The baby's foot! The baby's foot!
Wave hello. Wave hello.
Chthulhu Chthulhu
Side View! Side View!
Head On! Head On!

Jan. 26th, 2009

(no subject)

Okay... So i don't update nearly often enough and i can admit that. That said, i'll sum things up as much as possible otherwise i'll scroll your screen beyond belief.
First, let me clarify something about my previous post. i got my numbers backwards. i can assure you all, i wasn't pregnant until /after/ i got married. That said... as of the 24th of this month i am 29 weeks along (7 months and one week) and have been married 8 months and 9 days as of today.
For the most part the pregnancy is going well. At least, to the best of my knowledge. I haven't had an ultrasound done since the one posted in my last post and haven't seen a doctor since late October. The baby seems very active though. i will admit to being a tad bit worried about brain development however. The child's brain is developing the most in this last trimester and i have been out of my Synthroid (my thyroid medication to balance my thyroid which, apparently, effects the growth and development of the baby's brain.) since mid November. The doctor can't see me until February. 9th, which is amazingly irritating but... nothing i can do about it.
i love being married. i have an absolutely wonderful Husband/Master. Yes, W/we have O/our issues and O/our spats (i don't think W/we ever truly fight or argue per say) but W/we always work through them. W/we have an amazing bond. He is absolutely my best friend and W/we have a relationship that relies on complete honesty, understanding and openess. W/we keep no secrets from one another, nor do we try to protect one another from each other. W/we did at one time but it caused U/us several problems so W/we came to the conclusion that it was a bad idea and vowed never to do so again. People keep asking me if the relationship has changed since W/we got married and I can honestly say: 'Yes.'. As corny as it sounds, i discover, every day, that i love Him more than ever before. Of course, the same could have been said when W/we were engaged or simply dating so i guess it's a moot point, isn't it?
The move has been good for everyone, i think. While I worry, some, about the lack of employment for Master and i both it has done wonders for the entire household over all. W/we're both far less stressed than W/we were previously, Kim is much happier than she was in Pennsylvania, even with the lack of work, W/we're doing better than W/we were previously. Yes, W/we still struggle to make ends meet but that's to be expected until one or both of U/us find work. W/we have been very lucky and have been blessed with a wonderful friend who sends what she can O/our way whenever she can to help out until W/we get employment and get solid ground under U/us. She's been a true blessing and W/we're thankful to have her in O/our life. Income tax will be fairly substantial this year so W/we should be able to get some things caught up that way as well and perhaps have enough left over to visit friends and family elsewhere this summer.
For now, I think that gets me caught up well enough so that i can call it a night. i will attempt to post more frequently from now on as i know there are a few that worry and i would prefer to prevent that if at all possible.

Blessed Be.
Master Logan's pet,

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